It's a TRICK!

Just one small thing tonight - if anyone EVER tries to tell you that kale chips are anything but disgusting, do not believe them.

Here you go Nistor....

SO, it's been brought to my attention since I'm not working that I should be making a more concerted effort to post to the blog on a daily basis, because really, what else am I doing all day? (Ahem, Pam Nistor, Ahem.) Fair enough, point taken.  Problem is that BECAUSE I'm not working, the day-to-day life of Old BJ can get kind of boring these days. However, because I am a GIVER and a PEOPLE-PLEASER, I am going to do my best to find something of interest to share with you tonight.

Today was definitely the TSN Turning Point of Chemo #4. Shouldn't surprise me - it always tends to happen on Day 6.  Since I actually slept through the night for the first time last night since the night before chemo (more on that below), it only makes sense that I would feel better.  Still had a wild case of the 'stupids' but I am getting used to that. As promised in my earlier post, I got up the gumption to take Bailey on an hour long walk, swept the floor and did some laundry. 

Proof that I left the house today....

Let me just take this moment to reiterate that I am a dog lover. (Please see above)  A lover of dogs. I would have a dozen if I could. In fact, I have always dreamed of owning a no-kill dog shelter.  I say this because, in the past week I have had unkind thoughts about my neighbor's dog in the next condo. THREE times this week he has woken me with his barking and "Chemo-Barbie" has been getting a little cranky about it. Of course, "Chemo-Barbie" could just as easily be known as "Bitchy-Barbie" or "Are-You-Frigging-Kidding-Me-Barbie" or for those of you with a good memory "Tel-Sell-Barbie," but I do not think I am being unreasonable in wanting a little peace and quiet after a certain hour. SO, I have drafted a letter to said neighbor and will drop it in his mailbox tomorrow.  Nothing like stirring things up with the condo association to make friends with the neighbors, I always say!

I called my oncology nurse to get some information regarding when I can expect to be called to have the new port installed, and she seemed to think it would definitely be within a couple of weeks.  As much as I would rather not have another radiology procedure, it was pretty obvious when Chantelle came by to change my dressing today that the PICC is on it's last legs. And by that I mean the stitches holding it in are about to break through the little pieces of skin holding it in place. Yum. Hope you aren't snacking right now, it really is quite disgusting.  The funniest part is Chantelle's reaction - she is so scared to hurt me that she does this little dance around my kitchen floor every time she has to touch it.  Too funny.

I had a few visitors today - Kristie came by with a Booster Juice and Mardi came bearing a gluten-free dinner. Both were so much appreciated, thanks Ladies. 


That's it. I'm spent. Have a good night all...

Time to Get Down to Business

Ok People,
Enough is enough. I know you all think that I am so strong and courageous and positive all the time, but I am here to dispel that crazy little notion.  I DO have days and moments where I am all those things, but I have other days where I can barely function out of fear of the unknown.  Days where I do nothing but wallow and feel sorry for myself.  Yesterday was one of those days, but today will not be.  Today will be about getting things done. About getting some exercise, getting some calories and getting some answers about certain things that have been hanging over my head regarding my insurance coverage or lack there of.  The reason I am putting all this in the blog today is simple - accountability.  It gets too easy to pull the "C" card and get a pass from the things I need to do. BUT, if it's written down for all to see, I will feel obligated to get off my arse and do stuff. Here I go...

Chalk Another One Up for the Good Guys!

Well Day #5 is almost over and I am looking forward to the week ahead.  The very worst thing about Chemo #4 has been the insomnia - I've only gotten about 9 hours sleep in the past 3 nights and if things don't settle down tonight it could get ugly at Casa James. Other than that, it's been a relatively easy one on me.

Dad-dio headed home today - I will miss him but I sure won't miss all the curling. A girl can only stand so much "Hurry-HARD" right after chemo. ;-)

Chantelle came over and brought some emergency supplies - a Booster Juice, lemons and gluten-free bread which went quite nicely with the lemon-lentil soup that Marly made for me.  Thanks Gals, you were a God-send today. Just didn't have it in me to cook.

The giggle for the day was provided by Mar's little girl Cammy, who had been fidgeting and pulling at her diaper JUST before a diaper change and Mar found THIS in there:

 
Don't know if you can see it because my camera skills were a little off - but she had a little plastic gecko in her pants! Ha! We howled...no wonder she was scratching her bum!  

So, so tired. Good night everyone...

Inspiration Abounds....

Good evening all,

Had to share a few little nuggets with you tonight...first of all, a great card I got from Amy Becker out in Airdrie.  BRILLIANT! LOVE IT!

  

As you know, I was a wee bit down yesterday because Tim had to head back to Ontario. Lucky for me, my dear friend Jackie Elkie happened to be in town and came over to spend the evening. It was so good to see her - it had really been too damn long. And her no-nonsense, positive attitude to this whole thing perked me right up. 

Back in the DAY!

This morning Chantelle drove me to the canser clinic to have the 5-FU bottle removed and low and behold there was a problem! Turns out the skin on my arm is not tolerating the adhesive from the bandage covering my PICC-line and the skin is slowly breaking down. SO, they had to put a dry bandage on it, that needs to be cleaned every 2 days. This means Chantelle had to be taught how to clean and dress it and now has to come over every two days to do so. This also means that I am at a higher risk for infection, so I will need to have my PICC-line traded out for a PORT. (Similar deal - central catheter line that runs to my heart, but is inserted UNDER the skin and stitched in. To access it they still have to break the skin each time, but use a numbing agent so I can't feel the pokes. Nance thinks hers is the cat's ass.) This will also be very much less noticeable, as I won't have two catheter lines hanging out of my arm and I will be able to shower without having to water-proof wrap it. BUT it ALSO means ANOTHER procedure. Super. Ah well, all in the name of survival.  

So, a couple of other things I want to share that totally made my day. I received a text message from my good friend Jason Nicurity who told me that my blood transfusion story inspired him to donate blood for the first time. Ever.  Gave me tears.  You really don't have any clue how important blood donation is until you are on the receiving end of it. During this process I have discovered that my blood type is O-, meaning I am a universal donor. And I have never done so. Shame on me. I have decided that when I beat this damn disease, and if they will let me, one of my ways to give back will be blood donation.  So simple, but so important. 

The other thing that happened tonight was a phone call from ANOTHER old JOI friend, Kristen Shannon. Honey, you are the BOMB. Your infectious laughter and caring nature are an inspiration and I am so glad to know you.  Your call reminded me of one of the MOST fun nights of my life! Picture it - Arizona 2008 - we laughed until we cried - and mostly at Bender and Pete's expense if I remember correctly. How's this for a blast from the past?

That's pretty much my day in a nutshell, Dad-dio arrived this afternoon and we are planning to hunker in for the weekend and avoid as much of the storm as we can. Tomorrow is Day 4, which historically has been a rough one for me but I am keeping my fingers and toes crossed that I have figured out all the little tricks to make it easier.  Will let you know how it goes.

Sleepless in Saskatoon...Update on #4

Couldn't sleep so gave up and came down to the sofa. Pretty sure Tim's imminent departure is creating some anxiety. My mind is going a million miles an hour and refuses to rest, so thought I would do a Chemo #4 update.  I'm feeling pretty good so far, just some minor eye twitching, cold sensitivity in my fingers and throat and (likely unrelated) a new and very irritating case of plantar fasciitis. For those of you who  may be unfamiliar with the term - my foot hurts like a bugger whenever I try to walk on it. And it comes and goes. Awesome.

I had Chemo session #4 yesterday. The good news is that my hemoglobin is the highest it's been since I first got sick in September!  This session was the first time I had to share a Chemo Suite - didn't love that, but I guess it is to be expected now and then. We had to be at the canser clinic at 8:30am, which let's face it, is just about the time I am usually rolling out of bed these days so it was an early morning for me.  This is BEFORE my nap...

 

A pic of some of the poisons pumping through my veins - the clear bag is the stuff responsible for the cold sensitivity and neuropathy.  When paired with my other chemo, it is shown to significantly increase survival rates - so I guess I will just have to get used to wearing gloves to dig around in the freezer. Small price to pay...

My chauffeur, waiter and cheerleader for the day.  Poor guy was so tired and was forced to make small talk with other patients while I napped.

And this is after my nap - totally stoned but looking pretty lucid. Tim had just presented me with a Starbucks decaf plain soy latte. Closest thing to a peppermint mocha I've had in months. Hence the smile...
Here's a funny story. A couple of weeks ago my Dad asked if the chemo was changing my hair colour.  Long pause. He's so cute. Long pause. I had to say, "No Dad, those are my ROOTS!"  There's just no point in getting highlights as I don't know how long it will remain in my head.  Ironically I MAY need to see Dwayne soon for a trim though, my split ends are getting ridiculous.
 

Tim and my girls - Chantelle came for a visit early between appointments she had at the hospital and Kris came for the last few hours before going to work. It's always awesome to have a few visitors throughout as it makes the 5 hours go by a little faster.

Chemo #4 Posse

Tim took me for an all day breakfast (minus the toast and hashbrowns - bah!) for lunch after being such a little trooper. Then we went home and I slept most of the afternoon. He made the most delicious cilantro infused tilapia for supper, to which I added sauteed veggies and salad.  This is all part of my new low-carb, gluten-free, sugar-free, dairy-free, fun-free diet to try to starve my canser.  Not easy to actually GAIN weight eating like this, but we are learning some new tricks to add calories as we go.  I am eating so many nuts that I am starting to look like a damn chipmunk.
Chantelle came over for the evening and kept us laughing as only Chantelle can do with her "Tales of the Week."  I also had some good long chats with Nance (who also had chemo today - her second-to-last one I might add! Wahoo!) and Nistor to get the latest news out of Edmonton. Overall, a pretty good day, considering.

Anniversary Wishes

Happy Anniversary Scott and Kristie!

Weekend Update....wow.

Just woke up from a long winter's nap and wanted to share my Saturday with you.  Tim is watching the Northern Trust Open beside me on the sofa and Bailey is parked right between us.  As I mentioned last week, there was a story in the local paper recently about a lady from Regina named Dionne Warner who is a 7-time canser survivor. That's right, I said 7.  Breast canser, brain canser, liver canser, lung canser that spread to her bones, spine and pelvis. She has written a book called "Never Leave Your Wingman" and was appearing at the local bookstores this weekend to do some signings.  So Tim and I, not knowing what time she would be there, just happened to walk in while she was setting up and were lucky enough to get to meet and talk to her.  

She and her then-fiance were newly engaged when she was diagnosed with liver canser after already beating breast canser and brain canser - and she gave him the same "out" that I offered Tim when I was diagnosed.  Thankfully, he too declined, stating, "You never leave your wingman."  Their story has some amazing parallels to ours - co-workers, one from Ontario and one from Saskatchewan who fell in love despite the distance created by the vast province of Manitoba. (I hate to admit to all the my Winnipeg friends how many times I have wished Manitoba just didn't exist - sorry.) Insert sheepish look here.

To be honest, I panicked at the last minute and had a really hard time introducing myself. Not sure what to say, afraid I would cry and make a fool of myself, I literally ran away - to the self-help section. There may me a hidden meaning  there, but let's not dwell, shall we?  I mean seriously, what could I possibly have to say to someone who had been through so much?  Luckily, I had Tim with me and HE went to talk to her and there was nothing left to do but follow. And she was amazing. Amazingly warm and inviting. She looked amazingly strong and vital and healthy and beautiful. Just 2 years ago she was diagnosed with Stage IV canser and today she is in remission. Not stable. In remission.  After a good chat comparing our stories, she signed our copy of her book, "To Barb and her wingman, Tim", gave me a shiny stone with the word HOPE etched on it and hugged us both.  And I bawled like a damn baby.  And all I have to say is WOW. What an amazingly strong and positive lady - THAT is the kind of story that proves that we can do this.  

Anyway, we have not yet read the book in it's entirety - but those of you who know us well will be unsurprised by the fact that I have already read the portion describing their romance and Tim has been pouring over the naturopathic treatments and diet regimen that she followed, armed with a fistful of highlighters and sticky notes.  This book and Dionne's story have really inspired in us a feeling that no matter how bleak things look, there is always HOPE.

SHU-SHI Anyone?

It was a bit of a rough week for me - I apologize to those of you who contacted me with no response around Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.  I was up sick all night on Wednesday and as a result, Thursday was a complete write-off - other than to get my PICC-line dressing changed when the homecare nurse came by, I was in bed all day.
Friday was a great day though! Although I was still feeling a wee bit off, I managed to get up and get going enough to meet the girls for a belated birthday lunch for my dear friend Sonya.  That morning, we woke up in Saskatoon to a gloriously crisp day - beautifully sunny and the trees were dripping in hoar frost.  On the way to Earl's, I stopped by the weir to take a few shots of the river...

It was so good to get out and catch up with Sonya, BBF and Chantelle - we had a BUNCH of good belly laughs. Sonya, you are hilarious...remember - 40 is the new 30! I can't wait to see your vacation pictures..;-)

HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY LADY!

Then, for the very first time EVER - Tim's flight was not only ON TIME, it was actually EARLY. Almost half an hour early.  Have you ever heard of anything so amazing?  Never thought I'd say THIS, but KUDOS TO AIR CANADA!!!  
Friday night we went out for one of the nicest dinners out we have ever had - Sushiro off Broadway. I haven't been there in years, but it was the perfect combination of intimate atmosphere, incredible food, amazing service and great company.  Of course, it also meant an opportunity for Tim to fill me with as much green tea, miso soup, edamame and lean protein as I could handle - which is right in line with all the anti-canser diets he has been researching - so win-win.  That night, during the evening phone call with Dad he asked what we had for dinner - when I told him Sushi, he said "Shushi?"  After explaining the concept of raw fish and how healthy it can be for you, he just laughed at me.  I guess if it's not beer-batter fried pickeral, he's just not interested.

Before the sushi-coma...

Always with the pinky up...

Super night! Friday night was the FIRST night since Tim was last here that I slept 9 solid hours - straight through the night. For a girl who suffers from insomnia these days, it was the best medicine I could get. Happy sigh. 

Hump-Day...Half-Way to the Weekend

I have decided that today is going to be a good day. There are a great many things to be grateful for and today I am going to find and reflect upon every single one I can think of.  On the very top of my list is that Tim is coming in for the weekend and will be here for my next chemo treatment. I will be lucky enough to have him here for a few days prior to chemo while I am (fingers crossed) feeling good, and we plan to take full advantage.  Movies, dinner, some shopping. I can't wait to have a few days of 'normal' again.  It will be SO GOOD for my soul. 

 ***

Also good for my soul is my daily chat with the Nistor Twister.  It doesn't matter how depressed, grumpy, road-raging or just plain bitchy we are - typically by the end of a telephone conversation with Pam we have laughed until my tummy hurts, cried a few tears, and dropped enough F-sharps to make a sailor blush. The reason I bring this up is because just a few days ago this very thing happened - we were completely miserable for a variety of reasons and after 10 minutes on the phone, all was right with the world.  For me anyway. And one amazing thing that Tim has taught me is how important it is to recognize people for the good things they do. 

She is a source of never-ending optimism for me, and her innate sense of compassion and empathy is one of her best traits.  She also happens to be one of the most gregarious, in-your-face, larger-than-life personalities I know.  And there isn't a person alive that can rock a black turtleneck like her. Kudos Dude.

 ***

Came across this story a few days ago and thought I'd share it:
http://www.thestarphoenix.com/health/Cancer+survivor+made+chemotherapy/6142859/story.html
Just so we are clear, I have NO INTENTION of showing up at the canser clinic on Wednesday looking like this:

Or this:

Or even this:

Although if it was football season and the Riders were doing well, I'd consider it.

HOWEVER, I LOVE the idea and I may even pop by the bookstore on the weekend to get a copy of "Never Leave Your Wingman" for myself. A girl can't get too much inspiration these days...

***

Love is the Thing, You Know...

Happy Valentine's Day Everyone. 
Celebrate your love today and everyday. 

And never, ever take it for granted.  

Absolutely gorgeous - and they smell AMAZING...thank you T.

I am so lucky to have finally found the love of my life. 
With your hand in mine, there is nothing we can't do. 
Happy Valentine's Day Tim.

 

Presenting T-Bar...

A little giggle to share before bed...

Spanks and I were texting this morning - nothing too serious. Just commiserating about how much better we were feeling and the fact that we both had plans to go out and get a few groceries today. She asked "What do you need to get?" to which I replied "Oh, just the basics - kleenex, toilet paper, that kind of thing."  She then said "Thanks! I need TP too but didn't have it on my list."  45 minutes later I get THIS picture texted to me with the following caption:

"Heiress my grocery list. What is my problem???? Holy chemo brain!"

1. That would be funny enough without the type-assist error (ironic since she couldn't stop chirping about how accurate it was while she was visiting). 
2. Those of you who know us well KNOW it didn't and couldn't end there. 
3. I have a new nickname and so far I'm not a fan.

Canser is a Word, not a Sentence...

It never fails, just when I fear that I am not strong enough to win this battle - one of you, or two of you , or several of you manage to say or do just the right thing and it renews my spirit, my hope and my determination to live. Again, I am humbled. 

Chemo #3 was a challenge - more so because I let the canser play with my head this time.  The physical side effects were no worse than last time, not really anyway, but the error I made was allowing myself to ruminate about all things negative.  It's funny, I remember the time I spent in the hospital, recovering from surgery and how I was so busy dealing with the physical pain that I couldn't even begin to process the emotional stuff that was bubbling just below the surface.  These days, the immediate physical issues are manageable - amazing what becomes a new "everyday normal"...what gets tricky is convincing myself that this is all happening for a reason, that not IF, but WHEN I beat this I will appreciate my life so much more. 

Every single night I find myself thinking maybe if I just sleep long enough, I will wake up and this will all have been just a bad dream.  But every morning is the same, I wake up and it's all too real and I have to remember. The heart starts racing and I have to find a way to calm it. Today I took great comfort in a gift of hope and a phrase that I had never heard before...."canser is a word, not a sentence."  Thank you Myra...it's that kind of hopeful mantra that puts my back on the rails to "Warrior Barbie".

Over the past week, I have once again received some beautiful gifts, cards and messages.
Dawn, you never cease to make me giggle - and you are so right, you wouldn't be you without throwing in a little God-talk now and then - and I love it. Don't ever change...

And just this morning I got the sweetest Facebook message from on old friend that I hadn't heard from in over three years, and it totally made my day. It was so good to hear from you M. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go ravage a bowl of oatmeal. ;-)

Once Again, Spanks was Right...

Why do I even question it anymore?  She's right.  The very best way to get through chemotherapy is to do so either A.) Asleep or B.) Stoned.  I have to admit, after the "easy" time I had last time, Old Barbie-Girl got a little cocky and neglected to heed those wise words of advice, "Don't be a hero, Ativan is your friend."  Until today when Tim literally marched me up to my bedroom to take a little anti-anxiety medication and an entire afternoon of restful and much-needed healing sleep.  And that my friends was the beginning of the TSN Turning Point. Thank you Nancy, Tim and the entire class of  benzodiazepines - things are much better now. Happy sigh.


And just to ease everyone's mind, the tum is full thanks to Chantelle and Kristie cooking me breakfast, my good girlfriend Mardi delivering a booster juice shake, Mar bringing a tub of yummy beet borscht and good old Parchy driving halfway across the city not once but TWICE to get me a Red Sunrise. Sometimes it really DOES take a village - especially when the "child" is tired and cranky and unwilling to ask for help. Thank you my dear friends.


Sleepy, more tomorrow...

Nothing Interesting to Say - but Insomnia is Requiring me to Say Something....

First of all - there are only two possible explanations for what is happening to me at this minute - either Dad-dio has cranked up the heat downstairs and is trying to sweat out the canser OR I am having a hot flash. Both are equally likely alternatives at this point.

I would also like to say that sleeping pills are highly over-rated. Either they just aren't working for ME, I'm not taking enough of them, or my brain activity (slow as it may be) is blocking their effects. To those of you who may tune into this little ramble - I apologize wholeheartedly and in advance. Tonight there will be no jokes or giggles - but I can't sleep and I need an outlet.  The hardest thing about being sick, of having to face my mortality head on, is the not knowing. Not knowing FOR SURE how this is all going to turn out. My therapist says my biggest job is to ALWAYS actively reign in my negative thoughts - b/c they will drive me crazy and negatively impact my body chemistry which needs to be in tip-top form right now. No kidding, but that's a pretty tall order some days. Especially when one doesn't really know for certain what triggered the little cells in one's body to mutate and one's immune system to slow down enough to let them do it. Was it stress-related? Was it an unavoidable genetic sure-thing? Was it karma showing me up for some past failing or character flaw? Or was it just the luck of the damn short straw?  (Hey, that rhymed.)

How do you prevent your brain from going to that dark place, where you secretly hate everyone who is healthier than you? Where you resent people who complain about life's little annoyances? (A month-long boil water advisory certainly IS an inconvenience - but there are millions of people around the world right now without clean drinking water - and none in their foreseeable future so let's get a little perspective people.) Where you wonder at the shallow nature of some people when they and their families are at this moment in time perfectly healthy and yet they cannot just be grateful b/c they are so wrapped up in some superficial, unimportant concern that in the end JUST DOES NOT MATTER.

Ok, so the zopiclone is finally starting to kick in. Thank the Sweet Baby Jesus - b/c if I had continued on in that vein you would all be thinking that I have turned into a bitter, little self-involved shrew. Not really - just sleep-deprived and cranky. I will be better tomorrow. Promise.

Man, this chemo stuff is tricky...

Ok,ok,ok....I know that JUST this morning I was chirping about gratitude and feeling good and all that blah, blah, blah. But now I just feel BLAH. If there is anything a canser survivor can tell you it is that you can go from the top of the world as a warrior kicking butt and taking names to a pathetic, sickly, weepy mess in the blink of an eye...


Here are a few things you probably don't know about this whole chemotherapy thing:

• Yes, anti-nausea drugs have come a long way and I am very happy about that.  I have avoided becoming overly familiar with the porcelain BUT nothing at this point makes food actually taste good. (Although Jason's pork loin, rice and asparagus are as close as a girl can get to heaven on a normal day.) 
• The fatigue is like nothing I can even explain - for a girl who is addicted to her Crackberry, the very fact that it takes me almost an hour to even pick it up off the night table after an afternoon nap says a lot. And sometimes I see it flashing and just don't care. WHO HAVE I BECOME???
• Canker sores suck - they suck worse when you are supposed to eat to keep your strength up and they make peanut butter toast feel like PB and razor blades. Special alcohol-free mouthwash, special toothpaste, special canker cream. It's a lot of steps for a girl who just wants to eat a snack and go to bed.
• Oh, and did I mention special damn moisturizer? Retinol is only the greatest advancement of our time in non-invasive, non-surgical cosmetic facial enhancement for ladies of an age - and chemo doesn't "like" retinol. Seriously people?
• Chemo-Brain is a fun one. I have had to install a damn Thesaurus app on my Blackberry because I can't remember big words. And sometimes I can't remember little words. Or strings of words. When Tim and Nancy were here, he was our own personal word-smith and interpretor.  By the end of the weekend he was calling us "Dumb and Dumber" - not sure if that makes me Lloyd Christmas or Harry Dunn and I don't want to.
• Chemo dries out nasal tissue - spontaneous nosebleeds are a hoot. It's like a damn crime scene up there SO, again there are a multitude of preventative and healing measures - humidifiers (thank you Merriam-Webster on-line - I would have been here all night trying to come up with that one on my own), saline spray, nasal gel, vaseline, polysporin. I fully recognize that sharing all this will result in a lot of smart-ass comments tomorrow but bring it on - I could use a giggle on Day 4 and if YOU provide it you may win a prize.
• Am I the only one with the weird side effects ignored in all the side effect literature - you know, the twitchy eyes, aching eyeballs, discolored fingers, chest pains?
• And how about this hair thing? It's just playing with me now - go or stay, but please make up your mind and could you maybe let me in on the little secret? I am getting to the point where I think I could be one of the lucky ones and keep most of it, but then I find all these little renegade bastards who have decided to abandon ship and hang out in my brush when I specifically told them to stay put in my head. No control here people, no control.
• And yet - at the end of each day, even if I feel like a nuclear war-head has just gone off in my body, I haven't washed my hair or put on any make-up, Tim always manages to lift me up and make me feel like the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. Back to the abundance of gratitude...funny how that works. 

Gratitude in Abundance Today....

Wow, amazing how sometimes that little boost you need comes when you least expect it...thanks Mike...

Feeling surprisingly good today and already had an amazingly soul-lifting chat with my favorite person on the planet...thanks Tim. Love you.

Chemo #3 - Too Early to Predict Winner - but My Money's on Me!

Well Chemo Day #3 is almost over! And so far (knock on wood) things are going very smoothly. The GREAT news is that my hemaglobin is up to 119 as a result of the last transfusion, so that explains why I have been feeling so much better!  

I slept well last night, just fast. I went to bed at 11pm and woke at 5am - turns out 6 hours just isn't enough these days. Add to that an Emend, Ativan, a boatload full of chemo and chemo care drugs AND my own chemo suite with a bed - and there is no way I wasn't grabbing a few zzz's. Unfortunately for Chantelle, I was out cold for about two hours! Although it did give her a good chance to get a lot of admin work done....

Below is a pic of my PICC (giggle). Pretty, huh? This is the permanent IV catheter in my arm that means I don't have to get needle pokes anymore. It's pretty slick but also means showering is a thing of the past.  And long sleeves are a necessity in order to look normal...DEFINITELY need to get back to working out - I miss the GUNS - these scrawny chicken wings have to go!

 Here are my little Monkey Mascots that hang out at chemo with me - courtesy of Sarah and Rusty and Kathleen and Elaina Dolan...every team needs a mascot or two!

 

Wanna' see my 5-FU condom in a bottle?  Could they make them any bigger or less subtle? Seriously IMPOSSIBLE to hide that sucker in a pocket somewhere.

SO, I am still feeling pretty good, but that's not shocking. Things tend to go sideways on Day 3 or 4. The only new side effect today is the beginning of cold sensitivity in my fingertips - feels like pins and needles that gets extreme when I touch anything cold.  The nurse suggested keeping mittens beside my refridgerator...a bit of a pain in the ass if you ask me.

 Daddio and his grand-dog.  They are inseparable when he is here taking care of me.  He will stay at least a few days to make sure I keep eating once the fatigue kicks in and drive me back to the hospital on Thursday to have the 5-FU removed. 
Starting to feel tired and a bit yucky, so time to wind down for the night...

Embrace Life...

Well, T-1 and counting.  Since tomorrow is Chemo Day and the beginning of my 5 "Days in Hiding", I had a tonne to accomplish today. Luckily Chantelle was available to drive me first thing to the Canser Clinic for my blood work and follow-up with the Oncologist.  Wow - it was the busiest I have ever seen it in that building. I guess Canser has been pretty busy drop-kicking lots of other poor slobs recently too - and sadly we saw at least two other gentlemen my age or younger and a little girl no more than 7. Stupid Canser.

The appointment went well, my oncologist was very positive about my progress so far. And by progress, I mean that the second round wasn't the "Hell-Raiser" (his words, not mine) that the first one was. 

One thing I wanted to show off a bit today is a gift that my good friend Marlys gave to me soon after my surgery. I don't know how well you can read it, my photography skills aren't what they could be but engraved on the outside of the bracelet it says "f**k cancer".  Kinda says it all, don't you think?

And on the inside it says "EMBRACE LIFE"... An even better message, if you ask me.

I wear it every single day and I can't impress upon you enough the strength that I get from it - both in the message and in the spirit in which it was given.  Thank you my dear friend.

One thing that is often forgotten when something like this happens is how much it affects the people around you - and I just want to let you all know how very much it means to me that you are thinking of me these days, calling, texting, emailing, visiting, and following the blog. Hugs to all. See you on the flip-side.

Seth Rogan and Chicken Wings - does it get any better?

I had a great weekend! Kristie came over Friday night, armed with two dozen chicken wings  (man I love chicken wings)  that we balanced out quite nicely with one of Jason's super healthy salads. On Saturday, Chantelle and Kelly picked me up to go take a boo at the new Circle Drive extension bridge - amazing that one day soon Circle Drive will actually BE a circle!

Then Saturday night they had me over for dinner and a couple of movies and can I just say that Chantelle and I found a jewel in the rough. One of the funniest movies I have ever seen - Paul. I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it was a RIOT! Kristen Wiig was as funny as I have EVER seen her...Seth Rogan's voice coming out of that little alien was hysterical and Jason Bateman is ALWAYS funny.

Today it was brunch with the Morrison's - I'm pretty sure Chantelle is taking it upon herself to single-handedly get me back to my fighting weight. Then Scott and Kristie brought Sophie over for a visit with Auntie Barbie...nothing better than chocolate mint Girl Guide cookies I always say!

I felt really good this weekend - very few residual side effects from my last chemo and even less from the surgery! Whoot Whoot - good things are happening!

This my dear friends is what I have begun to affectionately refer to as the "calm before the s**t storm" of chemo week. I will check in with you next week and you can gauge if this level of cockiness has survived by Day 5.  On second thought, this feeling of invincibility could be explained away by the Ativan I took a few hours ago....peace out!