I have received a few comments about a lack of posts recently - my apologies. It has been a challenging few days. After having such a great time in Ontario with Tim, I guess I am having a hard time now that I am back, having to once again face the harsh realities of my illness and how it is affecting my life day to day.
Tomorrow is Chemo #7, and to say that I am growing weary of this whole thing is a bit of an understatement. I have to keep reminding myself to be grateful - that my mets are shrinking, that the chemo isn't making me as sick as it did initially and that I am halfway through the first stage of treatment. But it is becoming obvious that the effects of the chemo are starting to have a cumulative affect on my body and I am left to wonder what long term issues this will create.
"Why, when we are challenged to survive, do we give ourselves permission to truly live?" - Kris Carr, Crazy Sexy Cancer
I am also preoccupied these days with thoughts of how I truly want to live my life. I have a very clear idea of what that looks like, but unfortunately there are certain logistical and financial challenges that need to be sorted out before I can get to where I truly want to be. And patience may be a virtue, but it doesn't seem to be one of mine anymore.
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