I'll Make it to the Moon if I Have to Crawl...

Today was a good day. I went for lunch with Marlys - and I just have to say that on top of being one of my favorite people, she is also wise beyond her years. I can always count on her for well-thought out and sage advice - she has a great sense of fairness, good judgment and more common sense than most.  She is also an incredible mom and I learn so much about good parenting from her...thanks for the great chat today Marly.

I rented a little Mazda 3 this afternoon and am quite loving not only the freedom it allows me, but also it's a zippy little car and I think I love driving it.  I am going car shopping tomorrow, so cross your fingers I can find a good deal.

I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon today, and all went well. He was very happy with the results from my latest CT scan, not very happy that I have yet to gain any weight back since the surgery (instructing me to drink all the Gatorade, milk shakes, Starbucks and Iced Capps I can get in me) and quite visibly surprised at the scar left from my surgery.  He said that the colour will eventually fade, but the thickness of it is a result of the fact that my skin scars easily - in fact he called me a "Keloid-Maker."  Super-frigging-duper.  Keloid = a thick scar resulting from excessive growth of fibrous tissue.  I really hope that I can be one of those cool chicks that just doesn't give a damn and can still rock a bikini post-canser.  Some days I think of it as a badge of honour - just happy to be alive and consider it a small price to pay - and other days it seems so big and ugly that I can't imagine ever being confident on the beach again.  On those days, I resent how some people can fixate on their minor imperfections when I am left with a 7 inch vertical mid-line scar from my sternum to below my belly button.  And then I remember that some canser survivors are left with much worse scars and much shorter lives - so it's best to just accept it and get on with things.

Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.

Henry Rollins