Well, I'm finally back to my old self again - just in time to go for blood work on Wednesday and chemo #30 on Thursday. As mentioned in my last post, I ended up getting chemo the Friday I got back from Saskatoon. They have switched me from FOLFOX and Avastin to FOLFIRI, a combination of 5-FU, Leucovorin (both of which are also part of FOLFOX) and Irinotecan. The only portion of this cocktail that is new to me is the Irinotecan portion and I was told that the primary side effect of this combination "could" be "immediate and emergent diarrhea." Wow, sounds like fun. Luckily, they gave me an injection to prevent that little bit of hell on earth but it left me absolutely stoned. The nurses got nervous because they had never seen anybody react so strongly to it, but after consulting with the pharmacist they decided that it was likely because of my diminutive stature. How's that for some big words from old chemo-brain??? So, long story short (no pun intended) I will request a lower dose of the anti-diarrheal med next time and pray to the Gods that it still works.
I guess I underestimated how this new chemo cocktail would affect me because I mistakenly assumed that since I dodged the diarrhea bullet, I was home-free. Silly, silly girl. I still battled extreme fatigue, lots of nose bleeds, mouth sores and this time I had a great deal of back and abdominal pain - which I immediately attributed to tumor growth and had a minor breakdown or two as a result. Tim managed to remind me and convince me that often the killing of the bad tissue can cause pain too, so I have been focusing on that as much as possible.
And today was the first day I was able to say I actually felt normal. YAY!
To update everyone on us - Tim and I are getting very excited about our impending trip to Sandals Whitehouse in Jamaica - 19 days and counting. I have been feverishly shopping for bikinis that will camouflage my scar and have finally found some in which I can feel good about my skinny-ass-self. Wahoo!
I need to thank a few people today as well - BINK! I received your package a few weeks ago and all I can say is that Truffle Pig makes Ghirardelli and Godiva look like amateurs. Wow - amazing! Thank you so much for thinking of me, you are so, so sweet. And Michelle...I JUST got the skin cream this afternoon and it couldn't have possibly come at a better time - the skin on my knuckles and between my fingers is so dry that just bending my fingers can cause them to crack and bleed. Thank you my Dear.
Hey Barb! Just wanted to say I'm always thinkin' 'bout you! Didn't someone write a song about that?
ReplyDeleteI thought I'd chime in with a little shared experience that might give you a little comfort.
When I was going through chemo and for a couple of years after I would get strange, inexplicable aches and pains all over my body. I would be scared stupid that it was cancer spreading to my bones or my brain. It would have helped if any doctor could explain the pains but they couldn't. It was freaking scary!
One day I would feel like I must have gotten big bruise on my thigh and when I would look, expecting to see a big blue and purple bruise there wouldn't be a single mark but the pain beneath the skin would be that of a bad bruise sometimes right to the bone. And the pain would last about as long as I would expect a bruise to last. Bruise pain isn't the worst pain in the world, that's for sure, but when there's not bruise to show for it, it's kind of freaky. I would get similar pains in various areas of my rib cage and at the back of my head just a bit to the left. I only stopped getting the pains in the back of my head about a year ago. They were so random. I recall waking up one morning feeling like I'd been hit in the back of the head with a bat but there wasn't a lump or a bruise.
Before cancer I never had such inexplicable aches and pains. If I had a pain, I could always figure out why but not with these ones.
Like I said, I got these during chemo and for about a couple years after chemo was finished. To this day I don't understand them. But I most want you to know that I had them and that I don't get them any more.
Chemo makes weird things happen in our bodies but hopefully it mostly beats back and destroys cancer!
Hang in there, Barbie Girl!
And have a fantastic vacation!