There's a Wolf in the Hen House...

And just like that, the weekend is over in the blink of an eye. It's been a while since my last post and I'm not sure where to begin. As I mentioned earlier, this new treatment is no picnic. I have been experiencing a lot of abdominal pain, bloating and nausea. Now this is all new to me because the one positive thing I have been able to say over the last year is that I haven't had any real stomach issues at all since my bowel resection. Lately, not so much. Every time I eat, I bloat out to look like I am about 6 months pregnant - not overly attractive on a 5 foot, malnourished and underweight girl. I am hoping it is something that can be treated as a side effect of the Folfiri and will ask tomorrow during my appointment with the oncologist. The other issues these past few weeks have been continuous and constant back and flank pain. Two weeks ago the doc thought it was worth a try to put me on Gabepentin for the possible nerve damage in my back from my surgery and a daily dose of Decadron to take down any swelling of the tissue encapsulating my liver. Unfortunately, I received no relief and started suffering from too many side effects, so I stopped taking them on Saturday. I have to say, I haven't felt this awful for this length of time in a long time. It's not great for the psyche - makes you wonder if the canser is advancing and plowing through my abdominal organs, if I am having a negative reaction to the new chemo, if all of my numbers are elevated because the tumors have become too much and my liver is shutting down...sigh...one never knows because the doc's won't give their real opinions until they see a CT scan. And they don't happen very often. The one positive that came out of last week though was that after getting the go - ahead from my doc I finally booked a massage - and it may have been the best one I have ever had. The fact that for three solid hours after, I was pain free for the first time in ten days, gave me hope that a lot of this pain could be muscle - related. My chiro has been telling me all year that my body is having real trouble staying aligned because of all the scar tissue in my abdomen - he works on breaking it up every time I see him, but it's been awhile since I was in Saskatoon last.
The truth is the past few weeks have been pretty dark for me. It's tough not to read too much into these side effects when they go on and on with no relief. And remember, I have an idea of the natural progression of these things and what to watch for after experiencing my mom's decline when she was sick. There have been nights when I have been convinced I wouldn't see another Christmas, let alone another birthday. And poor, sweet Tim has once again been taking the brunt of my fears. He's such a good man - understanding, empathetic and forgiving. Not sure what I would so without him...

Happy, Happy Birthday Darlin'!

So, enough of the negative stuff - let's talk about the adventures the Bender family had this weekend. On Saturday morning, Tim and I took the kids to the Sugarbush Farm at St. Jacob's market. And Man, was it cold outside...but we got to take a horse-drawn tram/carriage to the farm, learn how sap is collected and treated and then we had pancakes and maple syrup for lunch. And let me just say, Avery ate her weight in pancakes - I've never seen anything like it.

Saturday night we went out to Tim's folks for a combined birthday supper and WOW! Barb Bender knows how to cook! We were both so full that we had to unbutton our jeans on the way home. Speaking of the way home, we saw in a farmer's field one of the coolest live action wildlife events I have ever seen. Picture it: 4 deer in a clearing - tails straight up and at the ready...and when we looked over we knew why - there were at least two wolves on the opposite side of the clearing that started the chase right before our eyes! So cool. The girls made it into the thick foliage of the bush and I am secretly hoping the wolves went hungry last night.

Today the kids and I took Daddy out for lunch for his birthday and then had cake and presents and balloons at home. I think overall, it turned out to be a nice day for him - and that's all we can ever ask for these days, isn't it?