Looking Forward to the Weekend

Okay, since I am off work on sick leave, you can imagine that weekends don't typically hold the excitement for me that they once did...but not THIS weekend! Tim is coming in tonight and I am looking so forward to it.  There will definitely be a trip to Costco in my future (and that means a chocolate soft ice cream cone), at least one round of golf, a movie or two, a sushi date, a few beers and likely some wings, and definitely some exercise with the dog. Who could ask for anything more?  Hopefully the side effects of #13 don't put too much of a damper on our time together...so far it's been okay other than the spontaneous nosebleeds.  No nausea, just some fatigue and an overall lack of taste buds and interest in food.
Today will be the day that I have been putting off for weeks - laundry and cleaning this condo. Honestly, if anyone walked up the stairs to my second level, they would instantly think I am in the early stages of becoming a hoarder.  I also need to make a ton of phone calls to places like SaskTel, the pharmacy, the bank, the lawyer, my doctor's office, my surgeon's office, the insurance company, the dog groomer, Air Canada, WestJet, and I guarantee I will forget at least one important thing today. Why? Because I refuse to believe that I cannot remember a simple list of things to do, that's why. UGH! Wait a second...I think I just made a list!

I had a very nice lunch with Chantelle, Mar, Cammy and Chaser yesterday.  Those two are cute as little bugs - always a little quiet in the beginning but by the end I got some great baby cuddles and even stole a kiss from Chase (whether he wanted it or not)!

Wild Weather and Nice Surprises

Ok, so it has been a wild week in Saskatchewan for weather - thought I would share some pictures I found floating around the internet.  Needles to say, thanks to the 90km/hour winds yesterday, the contents of my backyard were scattered halfway to the parking lot.   All I have to say is that I DO NOT understand the mind of a Tornado Chaser - crazy bastards.

Pense Saskatchewan June 25, 2012

Swift Current, Sk - Beware the Green Sky!

Near Lethbridge - In Alberta

Northwest of Saskatoon.

The roof flying off the local grocery store in Humboldt, where Dad-dio lives

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Amazing 'bubble' clouds grace skies over Saskatchewan

Monster tornado just South of Highway #1. Thankfully the home in the picture was spared.

Yesterday was a very, very quiet one for me.  The winds were so bad that trees were falling and transport trucks were being over-turned. I thought it best to stay indoors and was mighty glad that Bailey was tethered when she went out for her bio breaks.  She's no Toto and I wasn't about to lose her to the neighbors. 

Fortunately for me, Myra decided to brave the elements and popped in with a rose bowl full of new roses from her garden and a strawberry/rhubarb pie.  She made my day! Thanks Myra, you are so sweet.

And although my appetite wasn't very good yesterday, I managed to dip into that pie and Man, is it fantastic.  

Today I have a tonne to do, need to bath and wash my hair in the sink (thank you 5F-U bottle), go to the clinic to get it removed (Yay!) and then I have a bunch of errands to try to get accomplished before Tim's impending visit.  Looking forward to getting out and about and interacting with people again.

Chemo #13 and Milestone Birthday Wishes

Team James,
Wow, so much to talk about and not a lot of time to do it.  Dad took me to Chemo today - first time he has gone and thankfully it was a shorter deal today than it has ever been.  Turns out that by taking Oxiplatin off the table, I also didn't have to sit through two bags of Calcium-Magnesium either (which is used to reduce side effects of the Oxaliplatin). I made sure to take my anti-nausea drug on time today, applied the numbing cream to my port on time and loaded up my chemo bag with lots of healthy snacks. So we had a nice little visit, complete with green tea, coffee, digestibles, snap peas and oranges. I was thrilled when Parchy walked and surprised me - I had no idea he was coming! (Sorry about the flip-flops Parch - it only took me 5 hours to figure out what you were talking about.)  It turned out really well because just about the time he got there, I was getting really tired and he and my Dad were able to kill an hour talking about fishing.  Below are the pics of me and my Chemo Boys. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Tim's Aunt Lila who knit this gorgeous shawl for me to wear to chemo - it is beautiful and has come in so handy as I always seem to be cold these days.

After the treatment was done, Dad and I zipped over to Cabela's, Wal-Mart and....you guessed it...Toonie Tuesday at KFC! Ha! I figure if I am going to eat that garbage (high calorie garbage though it may be) that I better do it on chemo day so it can obliterate any negative effects of eating fast food. Speaking of food, I came home to find yest ANOTHER lovely meal from my good friend Jason at Dinner at your Door - which let's be honest, will feed me for two to three days! Thanks Buddy! You are a life saver.

 After Dad-dio left, I hit the sheets and slept for almost 3 hours - it was awesome.  Bailey usually wakes me at 3pm for her first supper, but she fell asleep too and didn't bother me until after 4:30.  She is so great some days. 


I had a great couple of conversations tonight, got caught up with Marly and Nance - and I was lucky enough to receive tonnes of emails and text messages from so many of you - thank you all for your continued support on this journey.

Finally, a big Birthday hug for my new mother-in-law, Barb Bender! She is one of those ladies who is quick to laugh, is happy to help anywhere she can and is as tough as nails, being a two-time canser survivor.   XOXO Barb!

 

We Have More Shrinkage...

Well, I got the results from my CT scan today. Overall, they were quite positive – the two largest tumors have once again shrunk (although not as much as I would like, from 15.5mm to 12mm and from 11.8 to 10mm) and all the smaller ones have shrunk as well, which is great because at the last scan they were ”stable”.  My oncologist said this is what he expected as it is a slow process with the type of canser I have.  He is removing the Oxaliplatin from my treatment regime for the time being because the neuropathy has now moved from my hands to my feet.  And although I was hoping that we would be able to spread out the treatments to every three weeks, he thinks it is too early to do so, SO I am still on a two week schedule – at least for the next three months.  At that time we will do another scan to see how my body is responding.  The good news is that I am gaining weight (FINALLY). I was down to just under 86 lbs at the time of my surgery and I have reached a new milestone – 95 lbs!!! Yay me! (and Tim and McDonald’s) Only 12 pounds to go to get back to my fighting weight!
Dad came to town tonight to stay because Chantelle is out of town at a meeting and Kristie has to work, so he is taking me to Chemo #13 tomorrow.  Can’t wait (insert sarcasm here). 
The weekend in Cambridge with Tim was amazing, not only did it serve to keep my mind off of the CT results, but the weather was INCREDIBLE and we got to do lots of fun stuff.  Friday we did 18 holes of golf and then took the kids to see "Brave". 

Awesome show for older kids, but I am warning you now - there is a pretty scary scene where our kids were visibly scared and we were sure they were going to have nightmares. Saturday was incredibly busy - we took the kids to Avery's soccer (it was so hot we had to strip them down to their underwear and put ice packs on their necks afterward), then to Tim's sister Jody's house to hang at their pool for the afternoon and then out for supper with his family to celebrate his Mom's birthday. I am pretty sure they all think I am the biggest klutz going, considering I knocked a giant metal dragonfly off Jode's front door, not once but TWICE. Jeepers Creepers.

 Here are some pics from the weekend:

Gramma's Birthday Celebration

Tim must have taken this pic while I was sleeping in

Riley at Jody's pool

Avery

 Man oh man, were we tired after that, but it was a 'good' kind of tired.  

Well, I better try to hit the hay - I have another long morning at the canser clinic ahead of me. And Bailey just barfed on my bedroom floor - awesome. That should make for a nice, quiet night.


 

Today's the Day

I just got back late last night from Ontario and will discuss that later this afternoon - I soon have to crawl out of my warm little bad and get ready to face my oncologist and whatever news he may have for me today. Good news is I think I am up another couple of pounds - thank you Tim and McDonald's. 

First of all, I want to thank all my friends, near and far who have sent me messages of good luck and positive thoughts; Keats, Demers, Nance, Dave B., Bonnie, Tam and Kevin, Pam, Mar, Myra, Jean (whom I have never even met physically),my sister and of course my family and the entire Bender clan. I feel very, very loved and supported.  I am hoping and praying that I don't disappoint you guys.

One other shout out right now - Tim has been incredible through this whole journey but it really is shocking to me how he pulls it out when he really needs to.  Yesterday in Cambridge, I started focusing too much on the potential for bad news, almost had a bit of a panic attack really and he was able to calm me down and make me see the bright side of every potential outcome in under 5 minutes. He is amazing and I couldn't possibly have gotten any luckier than getting to have him in my life, especially now.  Thank you Tim, for always being my "rock". 

I will update you all later today, hopefully with good news. 

CAT Scan Day

Wow, how does one go from hitting the sheets at 9pm one night to staying up until 1am the next night with no nap? Obviously yesterday was the TSN Turning Point of Chemo #12. Seriously? Day 7? That is a little much if you ask me.  The good news is NO HEARTBURN! Yay! Bad news is that my mouth and throat are a mess - can't have it all I guess.

Today was a good day - Kristie, Sophie and I took the pooches to the off leash dog park this morning and then we headed to the hospital for my scan.  I had heard previously from Nance that 1 CAT Scan is equivalent to 500 X-Rays with respect to the amount of radiation that a patient is exposed to.  So we asked the imaging tech and she concurred. Awesome.  She explained that it is all about risk vs. benefit - blah blah blah. Whatever.  I just want the damn results and I want them to be positive so I can get on with life.

Since I have to wait for them until Monday, Tim suggested that I be spontaneous and fly out to see him for the weekend so he and the kids can keep me preoccupied. SO, he booked me some flights, I took Bailey to Myra's (Thanks so much Myra, you are a lifesaver!) and now I have to pack and be at the airport at 5am! OMG!  Gotta' run! Have a fantastic weekend everyone!

The Simple Things...

Tim just made my WHOLE DAY by suggesting Avery call me - best thing ever to raise my spirits. Thanks guys. I love you.

Picnics, Pinky, Putting and PFather's Day Wishes

Well, all I can say is nice weather if you're a duck.  Today being Father's Day, I drove out to Humboldt to see Dad and Dorothy, took them for brunch and hung out for a bit.  Tim had the kids, but unfortunately they are just getting over the flu so it was a pretty quiet day for them. Hugs and love to two of the sweetest dads I know.  And the following applies to both lately:

I have been a bit of a reclusive bear this week, not feeling good or overly cheery. (Poor Tim - you are likely choking on that little understatement. Sorry) 
Thought I would share some more pics from my last trip to Ontario - good memories that make me smile. These are from Aver's school picnic last Sunday (wow, I can't believe it's only been a week - feels like much longer):

En Route with Pinky the Flamingo

And Riley's green Tiger

The kids' first train ride, but not their last...

Gotta' love Cookie Monster

And a poodle on a leash...

Daddy and the Ry-Guy

How cute is the Butterfly-Princess? Her Dad's not too bad either.

 
As many of you know, my chemo-addled brain allowed me to make an error when booking my return flight from Toronto - whatever, I was only out by a month! And it allowed me to spend an extra day with Tim AND we had time to go golfing - wahoo!!

Picture it - 31 degrees and humid, but no bugs!

Not my best game ever, but fun anyway.

Some of Ontario's local fauna...

Wouldn't see this guy on a course in Sask - gophers and geese and garter snakes for sure, and maybe the odd cow or deer, but never a turtle!

 

Afro-Circus

All,
I apologize for the length of time it has been since my last post - I was SO busy in Cambridge that I didn't get on-line as much as usual, and since being home it has taken me this long to get over Chemo #12. I can't say it has been an easy one, in fact I am pretty sure that my body needs a break from the drugs.  Every treatment has resulted in a different primary symptom, and this time it has been acid reflux. Or at least I HOPE it is acid reflux.  I've been selling heart burn medication for almost a decade and yet, it shocked me to learn first-hand that a really bad episode of reflux REALLY does feel like you are having a heart attack. Tim almost called Chantelle to take me to the hospital on Thursday night but after taking a Tecta, I was right as rain within twenty minutes.  Unfortunately, I have been having abdominal and chest pain all day again. Bah! 

As you likely have guessed, I had a great time in Ontario with Tim and the kids.  We got to spend a lot of time doing "family" stuff, like going to swimming lessons, gymnastics, the African Lion Safari, the movies, dinner at Tim's folks' and a school picnic for Avery.  Every day was a new adventure for Barbie in her new role as "step-mom" and I loved every second of it.  I know I've said it before, but I really have quite fallen in love with Avery and Riley - and it is getting harder and harder to leave them and Tim each time.


Take a boo at some of the pictures from the African Lion Safari - it was a hoot!

The elephants were definitely my favorite part of the day...

What a bunch of cuties...

Water Stampede

We were SO close...

After hot dogs and drinks

Checking out the map

Baboons EVERYWHERE...

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-nuh - Afro Circus, Afro Circus!

So Far this is Nothing like the Twelve Days of Christmas

So far, Chemo Number 12 has been no fun at all. Kristie picked me up and dropped me at the canser clinic where I had to start the day with bloodwork. Then we zipped over to the RUH pharmacy to pick up Emend, my rockstar anti-nausea medication - the only problem being that it is recommended to be taken an hour before the beginning of chemo and I didn`t have that long.  This has definitely been the worst treatment with respect to nausea. I haven`t been able to eat much today and as a result am weak as a kitten. And because I am so weak, I haven`t been able to get groceries and just don`t feel like preparing any food.  Jeepers I hope this is the last one like this. Who am I kidding - I hope this is the last one period - highly unlikely though.

On a positive note, LInda (Chantelle`s mom) dropped in for a visit with some dainties and then Mike popped in with coffees for all of us. I was really tired and not feeling well, so I don`t think I was much fun to see. Sorry guys, I will be better in 4-5 days. 

I have FINALLY gotten a date for my next CAT scan - next Wednesday the 20th, with results likely being communicated to me the following Monday the 25th at my appointment with my oncologist. There is no way I can communicate to you how very difficult this time is for me. Looking forward to but having to wait for a current indication of whether or not one`s current treatment plan is working is one of the hardest things a canser patient can go through.  The - Not Knowing - is enough to make you insane. Every new side effect, like the chest pains, back and flank pain, shortness of breath, dizziness and blurred vision that I experienced last week left me wondering if those little bastard mets have decided to take up residence in my spine, lungs or brain. But then Kristie reminds me that her mom`s cancer had metastasized to her liver and she was given 18 months to live - AND NOW SHE IS 5-YEARS CANSER-FREE. Good girl. Those are the exact reminders I  need to stay positive right now. Love you Kris - thanks for always being there fro me. You rock.

It's Not Un-Impossible...

That's right. "It's not un-impossible" ACTUALLY came out of my mouth on Sunday while on a walk with Tim. My normally very supportive fiance almost fell into the bull rushes in mirth-filled hysteria. Seriously? How can I even be held responsible for what comes out of my mouth these days? I ALSO confused purple and orange on Saturday, so whatever.  The good thing is that my constant stupidity seems to be mitigated by the occasional flash of brilliance (in MY opinion).  I mean honestly? How many people can come up with a triple-negative on the fly?  And by the way, my latest and most obvious side effect is a heightened degree of clumsiness (the fact that it's NEW to me is my story, and I'm sticking to it!) I have bruises all over my legs from walking into things. Just one more check mark on the list of things that Tim finds wildly entertaining about me.

I have been having a fantastic time with Tim and the kids, even though the weather was questionable our first few days.  Friday was spent recovering from the flight and Chemo #11 - I spent most of the day on the couch with my man-servant waiting on me hand and foot. 

Sunday afternoon was Avery's birthday party and wow, it was everything a little girl could ask for in a party.  Hair, make-up, a fashion show, music with a stage for those brave enough to take part in an air-band type of show and all the chips and sour candy you could ask for.

Avery BEFORE her make-over.....

Avery DURING her make-over....

Avery AFTER her make-over!

And Avery with all the swagger of a ROCKSTAR! Ha! How CUTE is THAT????

Not to be out-done in the cutie-pa-tootie department, check out the Ri-Guy...

 

I am constantly astounded how very well-mannered, funny and lovable they both are. And much like their Daddy, they are able to make me howl one minute and tear up the next with how amazingly sweet they are. 


Monday night we celebrated Avery's birthday again, just us, which meant more presents and birthday cake! And today, FINALLY we got to do 9 holes at one of the local golf courses! The weather was beautiful, and as expected Tim had a very, very good long game.  I was a little worried that with my weight what it is that I wouldn't hit as well as last year, but with the exception of hole #1, I had a pretty good game. YAY!  What a great day.

I am so blessed.