Autumn Update

Hello from colourful Ontario! 
Those of you who know me well, know that I am typically not a big fan of Fall. And by "not a big fan" I mean there have been years when it felt like someone flipped a switch in my psyche from NORMAL to DEPRESSED, BITCHY and LETHARGIC at the very second the first leaf started turning from green to amber - otherwise known as Seasonal Effective Disorder. The only thing that could pull me out of the depths of my depression was a daily elephant dose of Vitamin D and a nifty little blue light from Costco that cost me a hundred and fifty bucks. Well not this year my friends! I am shocked every morning when I leave the condo at how gloriously beautiful the trees are here. The reds and purples are so much more common here than in Saskatchewan. In fact, the combination of fall colours and the fog we had this morning was reminiscent for me of driving up the Cabot trail in late September a few years  ago. I know, I know - it's only October 3rd and I shouldn't get too cocky, but I cannot lie, the fact that the weather man is calling for up to 30cm of snow in certain parts of the prairies in the next few days doesn't hurt either!

Kitchener, Ontario

I need to do a quick shout-out to my little friend Emily M. from Thunder Bay! Emily is the youngest daughter of my good friend Marnie and a few weeks ago she ran in the Thunder Bay Terry Fox Run...and she dedicated her run to me. I can't even tell you how much it meant to me that she would think of me like that. Thank you Em, you made my day.

Emily "running for Barbie"!

For those of you who are curious about the results of last week's CT scan, you are not alone.  My oncologist popped in during chemo on Tuesday while I had a room-full of guests, (that's right, I hold court at the canser clinic every few weeks if you would like to attend) and said that unless he has to change my treatment regime due to lack of efficacy, I wouldn't hear from him and we could just discuss the results at my next appointment. In a month. A MONTH? And between being preoccupied with Chantelle and Mike and the typical chemo fog that sets in about an hour after the first drip - I said okay. Okay? That's NOT OKAY! I get the premise that no news is good news and that he probably didn't want to waste time calling me if there was no change BUT I still want to know. Are the tumors continuing to shrink or have they stabilized? The answer could mean the difference between going on as before and looking into a three-week intensive treatment clinic in Mexico or other alternative treatments. So, to answer the question many of you have asked - no, I still don't know the results. I left a voice mail with my oncology nurse on Monday afternoon and I have yet to hear back. Super. 

Honestly - I've discovered that this whole canser thing is a full-time damn job - between staying on top of my health care practitioners, booking appointments, dealing with the insurance companies and all their repetitive and redundant forms and actually recovering from the nukes every two weeks - I could really use a vacation. Oh well, maybe next year.

I will keep you posted as things arise, but thank you for your inquiries and warm thoughts. They continue to keep me positive and hopeful. And for those of you who have expressed concern because I haven't posted any photos of me lately - don't worry! I am "this close" to breaking the 100lb mark! Wahooo!

Yes, I Would Prefer the 19th Hole...

...to my 19th chemo, but it is what it is. Wow, the past two days have been a whirlwind of activity. As per usual, my flight out of Toronto was delayed by an hour and I was forced to miss the Rider win over Calgary. Bah.

As many of you know, my girlfriend Chantelle was laid off by her company last week and as much as these things are never easy - it couldn't have come at a better time for ME! It has given her the time, opportunity and privilege to act as my all-day limo service the past two days. Ok, she knows I am joking - and you should too. She really has been absolutely incredible - picking my up before 8 and driving me from appointment to appointment to appointment - both days totaling 20+ hours of her life. Don't know what I would do without her.  Below, I am going to give you a very detailed description of the past few days, for the purpose of illustrating how very much work goes into being a canser survivor and how very much we rely on the giving nature of those who love us and are fighting shoulder to shoulder against this stupid disease. Whether it's Chantelle or Tim or Kristie, my Dad, Mar, Parch or Mike - someone ALWAYS manages to be there when I need them. And I couldn't appreciate it more.

So, Monday morning she picked me up for breakfast, then we headed to the canser clinic for blood work. It was (as always on a Monday morning) absolute mayhem at the phlebotomy clinic and we were lined up around two corners. This gave me the opportunity to head of the the "Release of Medical Records" department to drop off some medical forms that need to be filled out by my oncologist for insurance purposes. After blood work, we went to the pharmacy in RUH to pick up my anti-nausea meds and to grab a Starbucks. Then we headed over to my compounding pharmacy to pick up the LDN that I am taking. Afterwards, we headed to an appointment with my surgeon - just a surgical follow-up - no news there. Next Chantelle drove me to my grocery store pharmacy to pick up all my other prescriptions, to the bank to score some dough and then home for the noon hour so she could have a farewell lunch with her colleagues. As I was fasting for my afternoon CT Scan, it was a good chance to rest my eyes for an hour. She came back to get me, so we could drive BACK to the hospital for the scan. It took for-bloody-ever and we have decided that the system at admitting and diagnostic imaging couldn't be any less efficient if they tried. You stand in line to give them your health card. Then you sit and wait for them to call you to give you a hospital bracelet and your medical orders. you take those to Imaging, check in (with an incredibly grumpy nurse), who then tells you to go to the CT window. The nurse at this window is obviously having a better day or just has a better disposition and very kindly asks you to take a seat and she will you shortly. Great, more waiting. Then she calls your name, gives you your forms and sends you the the CT Waiting room.  Seriously? Luckily the CT nurse and technician were AWESOME! However, my pain thresh-hold was not-so-awesome yesterday, and if you've ever had a CT you will know that the IV needles they use to infuse the (radioactive, might I add?) contrast into you are of a size one can only imagine a large animal vet would use on horses or cattle or some other much larger creatures with much thicker skin like maybe rhinos or hippos.  Needless to say, the nurse told me next time Chantelle is in charge of holding me down. I'm not sure I can really describe the feeling of laying in a CT machine, with a breast shield on to protect you from the radiation, the feeling of the contrast spreading throughout your body (yes, you can totally feel it) and the terror you experience when you once again remember that THIS is your reality. It tends to put stuff in perspective pretty damn quickly. After more than 2 hours at the hospital, Chantelle and I decided to pop into one of our favourite clinics (Willow Grove Med), so she could notify the docs and head nurse Aafke (who is also a great support to me in this journey and a friend to both of us) that she had been downsized. It was also a good opportunity for me to touch base with them - and SO good for my soul - the surprise at how healthy I look, the words of encouragement and the hugs made my day. Thanks again Aafke, you are one of the good ones. Then Telly took me to Subway for a late 4pm lunch before dropping me at my place for a few hours of relaxation because we then had dinner plans with my girlfriend and former colleague from Janssen, Jackie who was in for work from Winnipeg. Now I ask you, how is THAT for a full day? And it was only the first of three....

Today, she again picked me up before 8am, drove us to Tim Horton's to grab an on-the-go breakfast so we could be at the canser clinic for 8:30am. As weird as this sounds, it was actually good to be back at the clinic - everyone there is so great, from front-line reception to the nurses, pharmacists, doctors and volunteers. Everyone seems to know me and my story and they all want to check in on my progress. The first few hours were uneventful, giving Chantelle and I a great opportunity to just relax and talk. Then Mike popped in for a couple of hours to bring us (our very complicated Starbucks) coffees and visit. Unbeknownst to him, I came prepared with a STACK of MORE forms to fill out for my insurance company so that he could wade through them and explain EXACTLY what I needed to do and where to send them. It really is handy when one of your best friends is also your financial planner. Two birds - one stone I always say!  My oncologist popped in to check in on me and when I asked When I could expect the results from my scan, he basically told that he wouldn't call unless there was a problem (i.e. evidence that the chemo has ceased being effective and the tumors are no longer shrinking) requiring a change to my current treatment regime. Awesome. SO not ideal. Near the tail-end of chemo, Jackie showed up and after stopping AGAIN at the hospital pharmacy for more meds, we headed over to Earl's for lunch. I managed to scarf down an entire Santa Fe Chicken salad and 75% of Chantelle's punkin ;-) pie. How is that Nance? Later Chantelle took me to see my good buddy Dwayne at Haarley's Salon for a trim, and then to my chiropractor appointment. I really do think Yancy Orchard is a genius - I was complaining about tailbone and back pain (which is scary for someone with a suspected met shadow on their spine) and he immediately linked it to the scar tissue that has developed under and around my surgical scar. This takes me to 4:30 today when telly and I drove to her house to pick up some stuff for her 5 o'clock meeting for her volunteer work at the   CIBC Breast Canser - Run for the Cure. Did I happen to mention she is the run-director this year? The leader. The boss. One might call her the grand-pubah. So while she was in her meeting, I sat in the car and chatted with Nance in Winnipeg who is JUST back to work after winning her year-long battle with breast canser. Then we hit the grocery store and Subway on the way home, which marked the end of our day together @ 7pm. I got a great chance today to catch up (by chance) in the grocery store with some old friends and colleagues - Ernie Miles and Glenn Gizen in the produce department. Then I spent my ENTIRE evening on the phone with Tim and the Nistor Twister. Overall - a good day and here I am, still up at almost 1am working on the blog. (Sorry Nance) Dumb. I could be pretty cranky tomorrow...but that's ok - I deserve it.

More soon...

Good Friends and Beautiful Vistas

All,
I know it has been awhile since my last post, but it has been a busy few weeks. A few weeks ago, I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to see my good friend and very trusted Saskatoon dog-sitter, Myra. She was in Brampton, visiting her best friend Jean. They have been best friends for about 65 years, which I think is absolutely incredible. It was a great chance to meet Jean, who has been following my story and sending me inspirational messages for months. And it also allowed me to take Bailey to visit Myra again - they have missed each other since Bailey has become an Ontario dog. They took me to the head office location of the Mandarin - which was absolutely beautiful and like no other restaurant I have ever seen. Thanks so much for the lovely afternoon Ladies - it was so good to see you.

Myra and Bailey

Jean, Rudy, Myra and Bailey - Rudy is a very "amorous" pooch and he wanted to love Bailey in the worst way, but she'd have none of it...

Last weekend, Tim and I took a walk downtown. Now for those of you who aren't from around here, Cambridge is split up into 3 areas - Hespeler (which is where we are right now), Galt and Preston. Below are pictures of the river-view in downtown Galt. It is absolutely beautiful.

Bridge and weir in downtown Cambridge

For those of you from Saskatoon, this area feels very much like the downtown bridge areas out there, just on a smaller scale.

I have been feeling as good as can be expected, I guess. Again, the neuropathy could piss off, and I am a little weary of the daily nosebleeds but it is what it is. I have been finding that my gums are bleeding quite a lot as well and I have been having minor, but constant nagging pains in my back, tail bone and upper abdominal area. It makes the mind go to crazy places about the possibility of the "c" spreading further, but luckily I have a CT scan booked for next week so that will (hopefully) clear up my concerns. 

That's it for now, other than to give a big shout out to Chantelle. She has been going through some significant life changes recently and I think of her constantly. She has been a rock for me this past year (and the last decade really), and I know that she will land on her feet, in a much better place where she will be very much appreciated and able to use her talents in a creative way. Good luck Telly - can't wait to see what happens next!

Weekend Update

Well Everyone,
It was a pretty quiet weekend for the family. It was wet and cool this weekend, so we spent Saturday in, which was perfect for me because I had a great little nap mid-afternoon to re-charge.  Sunday morning I woke up to discover that my chemo pump was leaking - awesome. Good news is that between Tim and I, we make a pretty good MacGyver wanna-be. Thank goodness for cuticle scissors and medical-grade tape. Crisis averted. 
After we got my pump working again, we headed out to the Cambridge Butterfly Conservatory, which might have been one of the coolest things I have every seen. Loved it! LOVED IT!

Just some of my favorite pics:

Before they become flutter-bies!

Monarchs that were released on the weekend to fly to Mexico

Riley's reaction to the first butterfly swooping down at him...he didn't love it.

They were everywhere - it was amazing!

And a few of the displays...

Overall, it was a phenomenal day, and I recommend it to anyone who loves nature!

The 18th Hole

Okay, so as much as I would have preferred to be on the golf course, it turned out to be a pretty great day. Tim took the day off so he could take me to my first chemo in Cambridge at 10:30.  At first, I was a bit nervous when I walked into the treatment room because it was quite a lot smaller than it is in Saskatoon, and since I am used to getting a private suite, I wasn't looking forward to such tight quarters. However, the nurses managed to have us howling within the first 30 seconds and all was good after that. I introduced myself to the nurse at the desk and she just happened to be Georgina, the nurse assigned to me for the day. She said she had been going through my file that morning and was happy to finally have me there for my first treatment with them. She then proceeded to introduce us to the other nurses, calling Tim "Mr. Barb". He laughed, but not sure how cool he was with it. Georgina, a little Welsh spark-plug who is lucky if she's kissing 4 foot 10, asked me about the exact nature of my canser and my age - and then mentioned how unlucky it seemed. So I said "Yeah, guess I drew the short straw" and she said "Funny, that's what my friends say to me!".  Well, it wasn't 5 minutes and Tim had all the nurses wrapped around his little finger, taking pictures and making jokes.  They were all very curious about the port being in my arm as they are all put in chests in Ontario, made me the most popular freak-show in the room. The nurses were PHENOMENAL - happy and helpful and incredibly supportive. They were even playing tricks on each other - while Georgina was out of the room, they snuck over and extended my IV stand as high as it would go so she couldn't reach it.  

Georgina

Janice, Georgina and Leigh

Another thing I enjoyed about the experience was that they had a boom box right by my chair and the very first song I heard was "You Give Love A Bad Name" by Bon Jovi! Totally took me back to the good old days when I was 4 inches taller thanks to my inherent ability to back comb my bangs.  The radio station was awesome, playing the soundtrack of our youth and at one point, in an ode to Kendal Day, Tim and I were (very discretely) "throwing the HORNS".  We are definitively the rock stars of the Cambridge Day Clinic.

About 20 minutes after we got there, Liz Quinn came to the day clinic to meet me. She is the Access Coordinator at the hospital, and she has spent a great deal of time working on my behalf to convince the hospital board to allow me to be treated there and directly bill the costs of my treatments and meds to Sask Health.  I have to admit it was a very emotional moment to get to meet her after the months and months of phone conversations and emails we have exchanged.

Liz - one of the many people who have been so helpful and supportive...

Gail - head nurse making sure Tim is qualified to remove my pump...and me, as usual, talking with my hands!

As it was my first treatment, it took quite a bit longer than normal, only because they needed to confirm dosing and push-time requirements on several of my meds.  The other big difference between Saskatoon and Cambridge is that here, the nurses are required to gear up completely with gloves, gowns, goggles and a mask every time they administer a new chemo in order to protect them from over-exposure. Let's just remember they are pouring this DIRECTLY into my veins every two weeks. Yikes. Can't wait to see the long-term effects of THAT.

I was the youngest patient by at least 2 decades, but I'm used to that. Although it was pretty tight in there, it certainly creates a bigger bonding experience and the opportunity to get to know your fellow patients better. Tim popped out for an hour or so to run some errands and I killed the time playing Scrabble on his iPad and meeting my new posse. He obviously missed me while away because he was all over me like white on rice and I had to tell him to stop kissing me so much because it would make the other women jealous. He asked if he should go and kiss all them too, and I said  "Only if you want to get dead!" and then realizing just where I was, quickly said "Maybe I shouldn't be making jokes about getting dead in here, huh?" We had a good giggle..  

After chemo we picked up the kids:

In the front yard at Riley's daycare - PERFECT tree for climbing!

and Bailey and headed out to Tim's folks' house for a FANTASTIC meal and a great visit.  It is always great to see them but it was especially good for me today to get to compare notes with Barb about our experiences at the Cambridge Day Clinic.  The kids had a blast seeing their grandparents and playing in their backyard and the two Baileys (my dog and Barb's shit-zhu) got along really well.

On the way home Avery spotted some fireworks in the sky, so Tim drove us over and we got an impromptu fireworks display before bed.  It was amazing.

Watching the fireworks...

You can't really see it but Riley is on my lap with Bails on HIS lap...

Thanks for tuning in...see you soon!

Feeling Better...

All,

Yesterday was my first experience at the Cambridge Day Clinic and meeting Dr. Chouinard, my new oncologist.  He took a great deal of time with me, going over my file and history and doing a physical exam.   He seems quite happy with my response to treatment thus far, specifically the reduction in my CEA tumor markers. He did seem a little surprised at how small my original tumor was, considering that it metastasized so quickly. Bah. I don't like thinking about that.  Makes me crazy. I am down two pounds, but that isn't surprising considering I have had the flu for the past week. The good news is that my blood work looks really good - better than it has since this all started. And it was funny to see the doctor and nurse's reaction to the fact that my port is in my arm as opposed to my chest (something I've come to learn that they only seem to do in Sk) - he was concerned that it might hurt. Funny - after all I've been through and he's worried that my port hurts me, when in fact it hurts my feelings more than anything because it is so damn ugly and makes me look a little like Frankenstein. 

I was feeling so good yesterday afternoon that I decided to do a little ab workout - felt pretty good about myself. UNTIL about 2 hours later when I started experiencing SEVERE upper abdominal pain - the likes of which I have not experienced since my surgery and I was staring to think something was really wrong. It truly felt like my liver was about to explode...I think I scared Tim a little, especially when I went out to the deck to cry so the kids wouldn't see me. (Big Baby.) And NO, I do not think I "pulled something" during my workout. Luckily I was able to sleep and it has subsided quite a lot since I woke up, so I have decided just to chalk it up as "one of those things."

So tomorrow is Chemo #18 - yikes. I would be lying if I didn't say I am getting tired of the treatments and the side effects, but it is what it is. I am waiting to hear the date of my next CT Scan, likely the third week of September and am hoping with everything in me that the tumors are still shrinking. I don't know how I will react the day that I hear that the tumors have become resistant to the chemo and we have to move onto another type of treatment, but I will cross that bridge when we come to it.

I am hoping that I am not too tired after my day at the hospital because we have the kids this weekend and are planning on going for supper at Mom and Pops Bender's house tomorrow night. I hate being a dud, so I plan to spend the afternoon sleeping.  We bought the entire family fishing rods yesterday, with the hopes of throwing a few casts this weekend , but it looks like rain is in the forecast so Tim and I are thinking of taking the kids to the Butterfly Conservatory and maybe do a bit of shopping.

The End of Summer...

Just a quick update to let everyone know how I am doing. Once again I apologize for the delayed post, but have been under the weather for the past several days...
I had very high hopes for this weekend - being the last official weekend of summer and the weather being incredibly cooperative - unfortunately my summer cold escalated on Sunday to the point that Tim took me to the Cambridge ER to get me checked out.  Too bad too, because our weekend started out great, with a date night out at Wildfire on Friday night, then cocktails on the front porch and Saturday we spent the day golfing Savannah with Ryan and Tracy. Afterward, we went to their house and had pizza on the deck before watching "Old School" - one of Tim's favorites because he is a HUGE Will Farrell fan. It turned into a late night (by my standards anyway) and we didn't get home until well after midnight. And wow, I paid for it the next day - I barely slept that night and woke up feeling like death. Tim and I were a little worried that the cough I had been fighting all week might be bacterial, so we headed to the Cambridge Emergency Department on Sunday morning at around 9am.  They did some chest x-rays (which were clear) and blood tests (which were my real concern) which turned out fine.  I was worried because this week I have my first chemo in Cambridge and it has already been delayed three days due to the short week, so I didn't want to have to delay it any further in the event that my white blood cell count had been compromised by infection.  The good news is that they sent me away with a script for Levaquin as a "just in case", that I haven't needed to fill because I felt so much better yesterday.  I have spent most of the last two days sleeping and trying to get my body ready for Chemo #18 - not what I had in mind. Bah.  Whatever.
So today was a special day for two reasons:
1) My good friend Nancy is back to work after battling and BEATING breast cancer for the past year - Congrats my dear friend and take it easy out there...
2) It was Avery's first day of Grade 1 at her new school.  I am pretty sure Daddy was even more excited than she was - evidenced by the fact that we ended up parked in front of the school at ten after eight even though school doesn't go in until 9am.  It was nice to explore the playground with her though, and see her excitement when Marley (one of her friends from outside of school) showed up and she was no longer "alone".  
Tim is at a dinner meeting tonight and I would love to catch up with my girls tonight, but unfortunately, this flu has decided to head south, if you catch my drift and I plan on spending the evening relaxing on the sofa with my dog, a good book and some tea.  I hope you are all well.
Over and out.